Ready for Your Wedding Night?

Ah, the wedding night. Perhaps in your fantasy, your partner will carry you into a room filled with scented candles and 100 dozen roses. After you share a relaxing bubble bath, you’ll slip into some custom lingerie and make love all night long. Or perhaps your fantasy includes a sweaty, acrobatic routine that requires whips, chains and a few other toys and gadgets.

Whatever your fantasy involves, I’m pulling for you. I hope all of your wedding night dreams come true, and I hope you have life-altering sex! However, if (by chance) things don’t go as planned, it’s important to understand this: Many wonderful marriages started off with a sexless wedding night. Additionally, many wonderful marriages started off with wedding night sex that was, let’s just say, a lot less than earth shattering.

Here are some suggestions on how you can have a great wedding night — with or without sex.

Tip #1: In a relationship, communication is key. You and/or your partner might not want to make specific plans when it comes to wedding night sex. That’s great… don’t make plans. However, if wedding night sex is important to you, tell your partner about your “dream wedding night,” and ask what he/she wants. Try to determine what would make both of you happy. However, remember that things may not go as planned, which brings us to the next tip.

Tip #2: Even if you plan things perfectly, it may not happen. And that’s OK! You know that saying, “Everybody is doing it”? Well, that’s not exactly true! According to a survey by lingerie brand Bluebella, more than half of newlyweds don’t do the deed on their wedding night, even though about 90 percent of the women surveyed said they bought special lingerie for the wedding night. Maybe you’ll be too tired, too hungry or too drunk. I’m not saying wait a week, but maybe you will feel like rocking your world the next day. Don’t underestimate the power of morning sex. It can be fantastic!

Tip #3: Relax. Not only can stressing about your wedding night affect you mentally, it can have a physical impact. For men, this can mean an inability to get an erection. When nervous or anxious, women may clench their vaginal muscles, making sex painful or even impossible. Sex on demand isn’t always easy.

Tip #4: If you end up having sex and it isn’t that great, there is always tomorrow! For experienced couples, sometimes being tired (or having one too many shots) can lead to “less than ideal” sexual performance. If it’s your first time having intercourse with your partner, remember that like Rome, intimacy isn’t built in a day or night. As a new couple, it might take some time to figure out what works best; I recommend you enjoy every moment of your sexual exploration!

I hope you have the best sex of your life. If not, no worries, you have time. After all, the plan is to stay together forever, right?!

Dr. Nita Landry is a board certified OB/GYN with a special interest in working with young women to promote safe sexual practices, healthy pregnancies and disease prevention. In addition to practicing medicine, she is also a recurring co-host on the Emmy Award Winning Television Show, The Doctors.