Quickies always look incredibly steamy and exciting on TV and in the movies, but are they all that in real life?
They can be, and will be, but under the right circumstances, of course. The secret of a quickie that’s enjoyable for both you and your partner is being incredibly turned on from the get-go (well, quickly!). If you’re going to get busy and hurry up, you can’t wait for the turn-on to catch up. It has to be there to start with!
So, for starters, you must want your partner, and you can do things that optimize that. “Build up to a quickie over days by flirting, sexting and teasing,” says Carol Queen, Ph.D., Good Vibrations staff sexologist and curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum. What does that mean? Leave sexy notes. Give lingering kisses. “Stoke the flame, because that maximizes desire and helps instill arousal,” says Queen. Once you start tearing your clothes off, it’s a good idea to have some lube around if you need it, because if quickie-intercourse is on the menu, you want it to feel good, and arousal and vaginal wetness aren’t automatically linked. (They often are, but not always.)
The greatest joy of a quickie is the passion that can be stirred. Whether you’re pressed for time or slipping away into a bathroom for a naughty rendezvous, the quickie can be super-hot.
Plenty of people have sex that doesn’t last very long and isn’t terribly fulfilling, at least to one partner.
“We don’t think of those as quickies, though! Quickies assume an element of ‘Must! Have! You! Now!’ And if it’s going to be a whirlwind lust fest, don’t hesitate to participate fully, ask for what you want, touch your own clitoris and surrender to — and stoke — the feelings that will make it fast and hot,” says Queen.
The other important factor: Is this a do-it-in-the-same-old-bed quickie? Or an “OMG-I-want-you-NOW-let’s-find-a-dark-alley” situation? So, there might be quasi-public sex issues to consider. Do you have a place to do it where you won’t be seen/caught?
“I wrote Exhibitionism for the Shy, so I know how hot that can be — but I also don’t want you getting busted or freaking out a non-consenting viewer,” says Queen. If this seems like the kind of play you’d want to engage in with your partner, talk about it first, and figure out how you’d manage these elements so you can still have an amazing quickie.
The greatest joy of a quickie is the passion that can be stirred. Whether you’re pressed for time or slipping away into a bathroom for a naughty rendezvous, the quickie can be super-hot.
Choosing a location outside the bedroom can add to the excitement. “Join your partner in the shower, soap each other up and enjoy the slippery sensations that can be found,” says sex expert Antonia Hall. “Play with your partner over the couch, against a wall or bent over the kitchen sink.” Quickies allow for outside the normal routine play that’ll leave both of you smiling to yourselves all day.
It’s really though an art more than a science, and art is all about feeling and expression! “The art of the quickie is more about the heat of the moment, and capturing the intensity of right now,” says Bonnie Winston, celebrity matchmaker and relationship expert. “Perfecting the art of the quickie will add more spontaneity to what the standard pattern of a couple’s usual lovemaking can be,” says Winston.